Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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