Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I wish i was in the wii world.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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