This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize