sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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