Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
