I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
