you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
