would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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