He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
