You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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