Texts From Last Night

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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart

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  (443): I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart http://tfl.nu/al7w
  Replies (182) Good night (52874) Bad night (2348)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.

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  (325): I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well. http://tfl.nu/zrfa
  Replies (19) Good night (7036) Bad night (1477)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old

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  (803): and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old http://tfl.nu/y7b8
  Replies (23) Good night (1967) Bad night (6943)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.

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  (920): He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start. http://tfl.nu/5fft
  Replies (3) Good night (801) Bad night (2885)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on

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  (913): So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on http://tfl.nu/dyrr
  Replies (3) Good night (2499) Bad night (1200)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.

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  (571): I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone. http://tfl.nu/igvc
  Replies (9) Good night (1218) Bad night (811)
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  (909): View more from California

  Every concussion has its silver lining

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  (909): Every concussion has its silver lining http://tfl.nu/a47p
  Replies (8) Good night (1023) Bad night (770)
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  (408): View more from California

  do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??

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  (408): do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend?? http://tfl.nu/xsua
  Replies (6) Good night (919) Bad night (1092)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Can vaginas get frostbite?

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  (757): Can vaginas get frostbite? http://tfl.nu/ne3s
  Replies (12) Good night (516) Bad night (1110)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with

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  (618): Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with http://tfl.nu/wwss
  Replies (4) Good night (1314) Bad night (444)
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  (415): View more from California

  I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.

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  (415): I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings. http://tfl.nu/ozbw
  Replies (0) Good night (637) Bad night (322)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome

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  (207): But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome http://tfl.nu/qpzb
  Replies (8) Good night (752) Bad night (430)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one

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  (306): he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one http://tfl.nu/3jlh
  Replies (3) Good night (604) Bad night (419)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza

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  (336): I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza http://tfl.nu/mjsc
  Replies (0) Good night (391) Bad night (114)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  We turned a wake into a bar crawl.

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  (412): We turned a wake into a bar crawl. http://tfl.nu/okqd
  Replies (3) Good night (362) Bad night (135)

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