True but thats because hes a fetus.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet