Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink. http://tfl.nu/0fnk
  Replies (114) Good night (3821) Bad night (652)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie. http://tfl.nu/fd6n
  Replies (228) Good night (2437) Bad night (4558)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me. http://tfl.nu/euxr
  Replies (66) Good night (1347) Bad night (24250)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day http://tfl.nu/oxlv
  Replies (2) Good night (2371) Bad night (863)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait. http://tfl.nu/lp7a
  Replies (6) Good night (2623) Bad night (656)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner. http://tfl.nu/auiz
  Replies (5) Good night (4849) Bad night (863)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth http://tfl.nu/m5qw
  Replies (6) Good night (855) Bad night (1415)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY! http://tfl.nu/ts4x
  Replies (7) Good night (1011) Bad night (1217)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic. http://tfl.nu/f2uk
  Replies (9) Good night (654) Bad night (1159)
• Favorite

  (956): View more from Texas

  I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (956): I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied. http://tfl.nu/aspz
  Replies (2) Good night (537) Bad night (399)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  Is it rude if I don't go?

  (248): View more from Michigan

  No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (224): Is it rude if I don't go? (248): No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party. http://tfl.nu/zhsj
  Replies (5) Good night (1278) Bad night (430)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants. http://tfl.nu/myfs
  Replies (2) Good night (751) Bad night (472)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it. http://tfl.nu/wu4y
  Replies (1) Good night (328) Bad night (414)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (209): Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment. http://tfl.nu/nr87
  Replies (2) Good night (554) Bad night (271)
• Favorite

  (47): View more from Norway

  Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (47): Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van http://tfl.nu/ihe8
  Replies (2) Good night (290) Bad night (228)

Randomize