Texts From Last Night

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  (319): View more from Iowa

  went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.

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  (319): went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there. http://tfl.nu/ufbv
  Replies (9) Good night (3647) Bad night (841)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it

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  (954): i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it http://tfl.nu/cllt
  Replies (28) Good night (760) Bad night (5616)
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  (+44): View more from England

  You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.

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  (+44): You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway. http://tfl.nu/z6cq
  Replies (34) Good night (6082) Bad night (1475)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.

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  (972): Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife. http://tfl.nu/0n10
  Replies (7) Good night (4704) Bad night (1200)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome

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  (609): You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome http://tfl.nu/6r0p
  Replies (7) Good night (4034) Bad night (863)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl

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  (785): says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl http://tfl.nu/t2ss
  Replies (3) Good night (2134) Bad night (909)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big

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  (401): votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big http://tfl.nu/248r
  Replies (15) Good night (2844) Bad night (846)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.

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  (952): Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded. http://tfl.nu/fg0e
  Replies (6) Good night (5738) Bad night (903)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.

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  (913): Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well. http://tfl.nu/px83
  Replies (4) Good night (1142) Bad night (672)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.

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  (214): So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo. http://tfl.nu/7r9s
  Replies (3) Good night (1768) Bad night (501)
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  (424): View more from California

  You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.

  (1-424): View more from California

  The hell is wrong with me

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  (424): You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks. (1-424): The hell is wrong with me http://tfl.nu/smgq
  Replies (4) Good night (1263) Bad night (705)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  That boy needs some memories to take back home with him

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  (336): That boy needs some memories to take back home with him http://tfl.nu/bmt8
  Replies (4) Good night (1243) Bad night (418)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.

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  (307): Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too. http://tfl.nu/aq9s
  Replies (4) Good night (1158) Bad night (413)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.

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  (302): I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning. http://tfl.nu/l6mk
  Replies (2) Good night (615) Bad night (307)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I probably wouldn't

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  (443): Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood (410): I probably wouldn't http://tfl.nu/wahv
  Replies (1) Good night (571) Bad night (262)

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