That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd