google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
