I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
