Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
