she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
bring money and cleavage
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Boobs speak an international language.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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