he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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