onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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