You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Randomize
