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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.

  (425): View more from Washington

  for sure. did you let him do it?

  (206): View more from Washington

  thats not the point.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?

  (1-812): View more from Indiana

  You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?

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• (518): View more from New York

  I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated

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• (516): View more from New York

  i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.

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• (432): View more from Texas

  I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.

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• (916): View more from California

  What's the place called?

  (916): View more from California

  I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results

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• (904): View more from Florida

  Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face

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