This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
