North Korea, Best Korea!
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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