Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
