they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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