I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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