i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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