so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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