I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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