This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
