When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
