I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
All I want is dick and wine.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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