playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
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What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
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I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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