Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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