turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
