I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize