she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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