And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
