They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
you didnt know i had herpes?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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