I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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