Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I FOUND THE LEGS
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize