I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I'm having to shit out rocks
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