She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
