Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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