I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.