my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
