She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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