I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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