# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize