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Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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