I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
3pm strippers are depressing
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
