If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize