I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize
