some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
