Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize