Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Randomize
