it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
