well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
