I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize