on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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