i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
