so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Semen is not good for contacts.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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