you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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