At least make sure they are 18
Why
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Randomize
