first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
he shaved USA in his pubs
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
