Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
